Asshole.

Saturday I weighed in at a lovely number - 138.8 - and I was happy and empty and just so, shaky. I went to work and everything was too much, too loud, too bright, too fast, too much. I had to eat something because there was no coffee and I had HOURS left. I ate a snack bar (130) and I knew the second it hit my teeth it was bad. I NEVER should break a fast or start a day on something sweet. It sets me up to eat ALL DAY.

Then I went to the park and walked with a friend, which was awesome and we pushed each other to do a full hour of real brisk walking/jogging. After that we had a baby shower for a girl we knew in high school and, you guessed it, I ate... Nothing TOO bad, after all people were all around. I did eat though. Lots and SO MUCH! Then yesterday my mom brought a slice of cake over for everyone and my wife was waiting expectantly. Fine! Only once I start I can not stop so I ate cookies too, not the whole thing, but a fair bit!

This morning I weighed in at 144.8 - six fucking pounds yo.
I hate me. FML.

Food plan? I don't even know I feel lost. ARGH!
Focus:
Coffee (60) Maybe more. That's the cost of "No calorie" sweetener. I don't use creamer.
Flat bread (100)
Egg white x 1 (15)
Lettuce (4)
Cheese (35)
Salad (30)
Salad topper (35)
Calorie free Ranch (0)
Smartpop (100)
Crystal Light (40)
Smoothie (170)

That, my dears, is 590 of a healthy?ish? food plan, I mean fuck you CAN NOT truly NEED to eat MORE than that. It's a redic amount of food...

Already having to add to that so that the peeps who "care" will stop caring so fucking much! Adding a orange to lunch (35) and a 5oz. piece of fish to dinner (125.) New total 750 calories - I would LOVE to be under 800 for the day, I will be okay with under 900. I go to dance tonight, so I should burn roughly 450 calories doing that! YAY!